Happy Tuesday all!! Sorry for the lack of ‘blogging’ but I’ve not been doing great. As readers know, I suffer with anxiety… Pretty debilitating anxiety when it’s at its worst… Some days I’m fine other days, like today, I struggle…There I said it I’m struggling. I feel sick, my stomach is in knots, my whole body hurts, I am shaking from the inside and my chest feels like theres a brass band going for broke in it. This isn’t even the worst but today I feel like shit. I want, more than anything, to be able to crawl into my bed and sleep until today is over, i want to know that I’ll never have to feel this way again, but here I am, existing while this bullshit mental illness drains the life right out of me.
But I don’t have the option of hiding away and feeling sorry for myself, because I have a family to take care of. I have other peoples needs that I have to put before my own, no matter how much it affects me mentally. In all honesty it’s making me a snappy, moody bitch. Self care is as important as caring for everyone else, it’s not selfish… it’s necessary.So why do mental health sufferers feel as though their needs have to take the back seat? I do it ALL THE TIME!! I wish I had taken self care more seriously because now I honestly wouldn’t know where to begin. Anxiety is a real mental illness and it’s one that I am now really struggling to live with… I hate that I feel like this and I hate that all the love from my family isn’t enough to fix me. I don’t know what the next few days will be like , but I hope it will get better.
Mental health is serious business and it’s time it was treated as such. No one will know or understand it if we don’t talk about it!! No-one chooses this…. Just don’t struggle alone.