Last night as i stood over a pan of bubbling bolognese, Chris (my hubby for all intents and purposes) decided he would continue with decorating the girls bedroom. Our 3 year old little boy, obviously, wanted to help his daddy. Chris’s blase “oh he’ll be no bother” as he trudged upstairs made me laugh… Especially when less than 20 minutes later all I could hear was “No, not that… Stop touching…. You’re getting paint everywhere…PUT THAT DOWN!! I did consider going upstairs to rescue him, i really did, but then flash backs of the weekend came into my mind… So instead i made myself a coffee and parked my behind on the kitchen sideboard. You see, Sunday morning i wanted a shower, i told Chris what i was doing and left him and our son watching TV. I was in the process of washing my hair and as i opened my eyes, there , sat in the bottom of the bath was my 3 year old… and he was laughing. So not only did i absolutely scream my bo**ocks off because he scared the living daylights out of me, i also had to explain to my giggling son that no, my willy had not fallen off and yes mummy does wobble sometimes. So…. if i can get through that kind of humiliation, he can get through an hour or two of ‘help’ from him… As i yelled to all that tea was ready, the relief on Chris’s face when he sat at the table, made me laugh to myself. But not as much as the terror on his face when our son stated that he was helping daddy after tea too!!
At least he had a glimpse into my life on a daily basis… It wasn’t just our son that I had to contend with. Our eldest daughter is currently studying to do her GCSE’s next year and even though i like to consider myself at least semi-intelligent, some of the work she shows me makes me feel as useful as a chocolate teapot! Turns out that even though I used to be pretty good at algebra, the stuff they do now looks like a code written in some foreign language with weird emoticons thrown in for good measure. If you want to feel good about yourself, DO NOT attempt a mock GCSE paper!! It’s not good for the self esteem i tell you, nodding in agreement with my daughter whilst pretending to understand the gibberish is more my speed. That and good old google i guess.
It’s not as if i NEVER EVER have time to myself. When our son goes to sleep and the girls are using their TV time i sometimes throw myself into a relaxing bubbly bath and spend a good hour in there doing the only thing there is to do when you have one uninterrupted hour of you time…. TIK TOK!!!!! I don’t partake in tik tok videos…. No camera angle is flattering when you’ve had four kids and are approximately four stone heavier than when you were 18… I don’t need that kind of negativity in my life. BUT, i love watching it… It’s ridiculously addictive! And not just because there’s a fair few good looking guys with their shirts off and abs that would make any Calvin Klein model weep… There’s loads of funny stuff on there… If you catch me somewhere on my own, like in the bathroom or in the cupboard, and you hear me laughing just assume i am watching tik tok. If you hear me making a gagging noise, just assume i am still watching tiktok and have just realised that the man i was watching dreamily turned out to be (much older looking) 21 years old… I know… wrong on so many levels!
Right now i am not watching tiktok…. Myself and my kiddies are watching films and having a well earned break from all things school related.. I am not a teacher and turns out they are NOT ideal students, so, since drinking alcohol before tea time is frowned upon we are doing nothing except watching netflix. Well, they are doing nothing except watching the box…. I still have washing to do…. It could be worse i guess… I could have a 3 year old swinging off my leg while i’m doing it….. Oh wait a minute…..
HAPPY FRIDAY!!! V xxxxxx